Log in

11 June 2012 @ 11:33 pm
His Time Is Running Out Chapter 5 (Final)  

Title : His Time Is Running Out Chapter 5 (Final)

Pairing : Top/Seungri
Genre : Angst
Summary : Top decided to return to Seungri after they broke up 5 months ago, Top knew that he didn't have much time To live but he didn't expect that it was too soon.
P/S : Finally! i've able to complete my frist chaptered fanfic ever! althought it's not that great >.< im sorry

“Expect the unexpected”

Top blink a few times, trying to recall what had happened. He felt so dizzy, it was a complete silence.

Once he get back to his senses, he finally realized that he was in the hospital. In such state, all he could mumble was seungri's name. He was not fully awake yet, but all he could think of was Seungri. Where could he be.. “Seungri... Ri... Ri...”.

The door knob was twisted by someone then a figure suddenly appeared infront of the door, Top's vision was still blurred. The shadowy figure made his way to the Top's bed, it was a doctor.

“Doctor what.. am I .. doing here..? Where's my.. my..friend?”.

“Im sorry but you should not talk to much, your condition is still not stable.”

“Where's my friend... what am I doing here..”, Top eyelid were so heavy, it was like, every part of his body was sore.

“You collapsed in the airport as soon as you were back from Hawaii. Thank God the ambulance that you were in, reached the hospital in time, or we would've lost you.”, The doctor replied, still monitoring on Top's condition.

Lost me? He finally recalled what had happened. It was the day when he and his Seungri were back from their vacation, and somehow he couldn't breathe, and suddenly collapse. It was a very shocking moment, he thought that his time was finally come. But now, he was slightly happy that he was able to see his Seungri again.

“So.. doctor, where's my friend? He.. was with me at the airport, is.. h..he waiting for me outside..?” Top had a difficult time to talk as he felt his throat was burning. He felt way weaker than he was back then.

“Are you talking about Mr Lee Seunghyun? He asked me to give you this once you woke up, I have to leave right now. So don't move to much, please rest.” The doctor gave a letter to Top and then made his way out of the room.

Top's heart skipped a bit as he opened the letter, it was his panda hand writing, he could sense something wasn't right.

Hello there hyung, if you're reading this hyung.. the surgery succeeded isn't it? Thank god. I guess if you're reading this, I should be gone by now. Im sorry that I didn't tell you about this, but a couple of weeks ago, I talked to the doctor who was in charge of you, he told me that if they can find a lung donor, maybe you can live once again but he could not guarantee that the surgery will succeed, So I decided to take the risk and donate my lung to you hyung, so I can live inside you... Top already couldn’t help the tears that were flowing down his cheeks. His body felt like it might explode from the pain, as he wished everything was only a nightmare. He could not believe what he was currently reading.

I’m so sorry, hyung but you left me with no choice, I could not live without you once again, not this time... You must probably hate me by this point for leaving you, and I honestly don’t blame you. But I want you to keep on living your life, you still have a long journey to go hyung, I'll never forget every moment we spend together.. Top sobbed even harder, not wanting to believe what he just read. Everything! Everything was a lie! He kept on telling that to himself.

Im sorry hyung, im really really sorry, there are no words that can describe how am I feeling while writing this letter, seeing you inside the surgery room, while they are making the preparation for the surgery was too heartbreaking. I hated my life back then, I hated everything. I always feel like suiciding, my life was like a nightmare to me, until the day you came back to me, you gave me hope, in spite of everything. All the missing pieces of puzzle were finally gathered, and I finally found the value of my life once again, but now, you had to leave me once again, I just couldn't accept it, once again im so sorry hyung.”

The only regret I’d have now is not to be able to give you a proper goodbye. You once asked me whether I believed in destiny hyung. Remember? But I didn't take it seriously because to be honest I didn't believe it, but now I don’t even really know. You came to my life once again was such a truly blessing to me. I never thought we could spend so much happy moments during our vacation.”

All Top could do was just sobbed hysterically. He could not believe that his Seungri donated his lung to him. “Seungriiii...... Seungri..... Seungri....” He kept on mumbling, not wanting to accept the fact that his Seungri is gone.

So the doctors had done with the preparation for the surgery, and I have to enter the surgery room with you too in a short moment. So im gonna tell you that I love you and that has never, and will never change. I love you forever and always, Thank you for having been in my life.I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I’m sorry for not being able to be with you for the rest of your life. I’m sorry for all the things you had to endure because of me. And im also sorry for that i've broke all the promises that we've made, which are living together for the rest of our lives. Please don't forget me hyung.. im not asking you to love me back just please don't forget me.. And consider this as my last request, please, move on with your life. And I would like you to keep this as our memories together, it was the very first photo that I took with my polaroid when you were hospitalized before, remember? Once again, im sorry, please take care of yourself for me. I will always forever be inside you.”

I love you too… Don’t worry… I’ll never forget you… I’ll never forget you…” Top told to himself.

Top felt like he was running out of tears as he saw the picture Seungri attached together with the letter, the very first picture of them together that Seungri took before, at the very same hospital, but the different was, Seungri was with him and now he was all alone. Seungri looked so happy in the picture, if only they can embrace in each other arms once again.

And so.. Top slowly drifting to sleep once again, he was too tired to stay awake on this cruel world, praying that everything was just a dream, hoping that once he woke up, his panda is alive once again, but deep down inside his heart, he knows that he had to face the reality sooner or later.....

sushiloshipopssushiloshipops on June 12th, 2012 03:11 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading! Yeah it was too sad writing this kind of fiction. :(
I'll try to work on my second fiction with a happy ending. I